Author Topic: The joke thread  (Read 26878 times)

Offline Mr.PowPow

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #75 on: November 12, 2012, 10:33:42 PM »
Hey, where has pows post gone? Now mine doesn't make sense.
Meh, I'm forced to stick to some rules.. promoting hate isn't allowed :/
It's not promoting hate, its a joke. For a joke thread. If the sanctity of jokes cannot be held even here, then I refuse to post here again.
Not my problem that you misinterpreted it.

Offline O:\msg

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #76 on: November 12, 2012, 10:40:12 PM »
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Offline Mr.PowPow

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #77 on: November 12, 2012, 10:41:26 PM »
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HELLZ YEAH, PRAISE THE HUMOROUS LORD!

Offline Kiss x Miz

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #78 on: November 12, 2012, 11:23:10 PM »
Hey, where has pows post gone? Now mine doesn't make sense.
Meh, I'm forced to stick to some rules.. promoting hate isn't allowed :/
It's not promoting hate, its a joke. For a joke thread. If the sanctity of jokes cannot be held even here, then I refuse to post here again.
Not my problem that you misinterpreted it.
Not me, we just can't allow those words on any thread. Nothing about misinterpreting. Just preventing misinterpreting.

Offline Mr.PowPow

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #79 on: November 12, 2012, 11:34:54 PM »
Hey, where has pows post gone? Now mine doesn't make sense.
Meh, I'm forced to stick to some rules.. promoting hate isn't allowed :/
It's not promoting hate, its a joke. For a joke thread. If the sanctity of jokes cannot be held even here, then I refuse to post here again.
Not my problem that you misinterpreted it.
Not me, we just can't allow those words on any thread. Nothing about misinterpreting. Just preventing misinterpreting.
Oh well, I won't be participating in this thread any longer then. It's a silly rule. Have fun.

Offline O:\msg

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #80 on: November 13, 2012, 09:18:51 PM »
Here's one for you pow.

I went to see a Muslim tribute band last night called 'Bomb Jovi'. They were brilliant, their last song 'Living on a Prayer Mat' almost brought the fucking house down.

Offline Mr.PowPow

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #81 on: November 13, 2012, 09:19:40 PM »
Here's one for you pow.

I went to see a Muslim tribute band last night called 'Bomb Jovi'. They were brilliant, their last song 'Living on a Prayer Mat' almost brought the fucking house down.
That one got a chuckle out of me, nice xD

Offline Kiss x Miz

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #82 on: November 13, 2012, 09:36:09 PM »
I went to see a Muslim tribute band last night called 'Bomb Jovi'. They were brilliant, their last song 'Living on a Prayer Mat' almost brought the fucking house down.
Lol
I heard it was a big hit in Iraq

Offline senpai_FisT

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #83 on: November 13, 2012, 09:56:30 PM »
Their NYC tour was awesome. The brought down the house when they performed at the twin towers.

Offline O:\msg

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #84 on: November 13, 2012, 11:22:28 PM »
Now see, a joke is a joke. I'm 5'4" and I get garden gnome jokes, dwarf jokes, midget jokes, etc etc you name it I've heard it 3 times at least. I fail to see how a small cock joke is ok when people have small cocks, but a muslim/black/whatever joke isn't ok just because they are muslim/black/whatever. Isn't it the same? It's only a problem if you choose to make it so, hate is hate but for some reason some things such as racism get more attention than others because of peoples guilty consciousnesses, like in the US for example and their history. A joke about a small cock probably insults as many people as a muslim joke, but it's not in the public eye because people don't talk about small cocks but racism is a big thing.

Seriously guys, give me your  best atheist, white, dwarf, gnome, ugly, english, whatever jokes, it means nothing to me, I would never evertake offence at something meant as a joke, it's only an insult if aimed directly and with intent. Google Bernard Manning, he was the worst racist joker of all time, but he never meant a word of it.
It baffles me how people get upset about a muslim/black joke but laugh at a paedophile joke, who makes these rules? Peado's are scum, black/muslim people are equal of anybody.

Offline senpai_FisT

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #85 on: November 13, 2012, 11:32:47 PM »
Now see, a joke is a joke. I'm 5'4" and I get garden gnome jokes, dwarf jokes, midget jokes, etc etc you name it I've heard it 3 times at least. I fail to see how a small cock joke is ok when people have small cocks, but a muslim/black/whatever joke isn't ok just because they are muslim/black/whatever. Isn't it the same? It's only a problem if you choose to make it so, hate is hate but for some reason some things such as racism get more attention than others because of peoples guilty consciousnesses, like in the US for example and their history. A joke about a small cock probably insults as many people as a muslim joke, but it's not in the public eye because people don't talk about small cocks but racism is a big thing.

Seriously guys, give me your  best atheist, white, dwarf, gnome, ugly, english, whatever jokes, it means nothing to me, I would never evertake offence at something meant as a joke, it's only an insult if aimed directly and with intent. Google Bernard Manning, he was the worst racist joker of all time, but he never meant a word of it.
It baffles me how people get upset about a muslim/black joke but laugh at a paedophile joke, who makes these rules? Peado's are scum, black/muslim people are equal of anybody.
haha 5'4...im 5'5 get on my level

Offline O:\msg

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #86 on: November 13, 2012, 11:39:38 PM »

haha 5'4...im 5'5 get on my level
F**k you you hater!! Hating on us small guys, we're the equal of anybody!!!

Lol, see what I mean though, it's sad when all the political correctness gets in the way of sensible, intelligent human beans.

Offline senpai_FisT

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #87 on: November 14, 2012, 01:28:06 AM »
When someone says 'ejaculation', the first thing that cums into my mind is sex.

Offline O:\msg

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #88 on: November 17, 2012, 01:09:14 PM »
Thieves have stolen 20 crates of Red Bull from our local store.
I don't know how these bastards sleep at night!

You're from Liverpool aren't you pow? On your birthday do people put money in your mams purse for you?
« Last Edit: November 17, 2012, 08:27:50 PM by msg » »

Offline O:\msg

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #89 on: November 20, 2012, 11:52:26 AM »
Two fish in a tank. One says to the other: "How do you drive this thing?"

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

Two dyslexics in a car one says to the other "can you smell petrol." the other one says "I cant even smell my own name."

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
« Last Edit: November 20, 2012, 11:56:57 AM by msg » »

Offline Mr.PowPow

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #90 on: November 20, 2012, 02:06:15 PM »
You're from Liverpool aren't you pow? On your birthday do people put money in your mams purse for you?
That one tickled me :p

How does a Welshman find a sheep in tall grass?
Very satisfying.

What is the new gay website address?
c : enter £££ (see colon enter pound pound pound).

Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
Ask your mom.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?
Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

Offline O:\msg

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #91 on: November 20, 2012, 02:12:01 PM »
During sex last night, my partner whispered in my ear, "Pretend you're my dad." I was furious.
"You are one sick-minded girl, what a disgusting thing to ask me."
I stormed out of the bedroom and slammed the door.
I mean, you don't expect shit like that from your sister, do you?

My new German girlfriend gives me marks out of ten when we have sex. Last night for example I shoved it right up her shitter and she yelled "nine, nine!"

Offline Mr.PowPow

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #92 on: November 20, 2012, 02:20:52 PM »
 A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "Two Prostitutes -- $50.00."

A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.

Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES."

One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them?!"

"Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled . "Their sign pertains to religion.'

The following day the same police officer noticed the same two ho's driving around with a large sign on their car.

He figured he had an easy arrest until he read their new sign:

"Two Fallen Angels
Seeking Peter -- $50."


Offline senpai_FisT

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #93 on: November 20, 2012, 02:28:38 PM »
"My wife finally gave me a threesome."

"Oh, that's great!"

"Yeah....she and her divorce lawyer fucked me hard."

Offline Mr.PowPow

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #94 on: November 20, 2012, 02:32:17 PM »
How many sexists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None
Let the bitch cook in the dark!

What was John Lennon's last hit?
The pavement.
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Two Englishmen Father and Son, were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store.
As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some thick Yorkshire Man is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling.'
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Yorkshire Man walked to the window, had a peek, and in a broad Yorkshire accent asked 'What are you selling here ?
One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling arse-holes.'
Without skipping a beat, the Yorkshire Man said, 'You're doing very well then... only two left!'

Offline O:\msg

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #95 on: November 21, 2012, 09:58:47 AM »
My girlfriend says that having a tiny penis is nothing to worry about.
I still wish she didn't have one though.

Offline Kiss x Miz

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #96 on: November 21, 2012, 12:46:30 PM »
My girlfriend says that having a tiny penis is nothing to worry about.
I still wish she didn't have one though.
Hahahahah ;D

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #97 on: November 24, 2012, 08:56:28 AM »
Rafa Benitez will get a warm reception when he returns to Anfield, the Liverpool fans still see him as one of their own. Probably because he hasn't had a job for two years.

So women love a man in uniform, well your free to come and see mine...........

I'll even let you wash it for me.
« Last Edit: November 24, 2012, 05:20:16 PM by msg » »

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #98 on: December 02, 2012, 04:49:44 PM »
My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is shit.. The flaps only open from 1-16

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Re: The joke thread
« Reply #99 on: December 11, 2012, 12:23:33 PM »
The mrs decided to wear a Liverpool top for a week to see the public reaction. The first morning she was spat on, swore at, punched in the face, kicked up the arse and received death threats. Fuck knows how it will go when she leaves the fucking house.

That Rio Ferdinand money throwing incident wouldn't have happened at Anfield....You'd never injure someone by throwing a Giro at them.

 

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