If I put root beer in a square cup, do I get beer?I literally LOL'ed
I've been slowly torturing a centipede for the past 98 days. It's on its last legs now.So what did you do during the days when you didn't pull out a leg?
Who said I was pulling out legs? ;)I've been slowly torturing a centipede for the past 98 days. It's on its last legs now.So what did you do during the days when you didn't pull out a leg?
(Fact troll)
:'( Can't see hidden pun.Who said I was pulling out legs? ;)I've been slowly torturing a centipede for the past 98 days. It's on its last legs now.So what did you do during the days when you didn't pull out a leg?
(Fact troll)
3 guys are in a cafe,That would have been funnier if the 3rd guy first said "I'm the least musically talented in the world!"
one says: I've got the smallest arm in the world!
another says: I've got the smallest head in the world!
last one says: I'm the most musical talented in the world!
The 3 guys go to Guinness World Records.
First one goes first and returns happy: I really have the smallest arm in the world!
Second returns happy too: I really have the smallest head of the world!
The last one returns angry and screams: WHO THE F**K IS HEADHUNTERZ?!
Icwhatudidthar ::)3 guys are in a cafe,That would have been funnier if the 3rd guy first said "I'm the least musically talented in the world!"
one says: I've got the smallest arm in the world!
another says: I've got the smallest head in the world!
last one says: I'm the most musical talented in the world!
The 3 guys go to Guinness World Records.
First one goes first and returns happy: I really have the smallest arm in the world!
Second returns happy too: I really have the smallest head of the world!
The last one returns angry and screams: WHO THE F**K IS HEADHUNTERZ?!
... yeah sure maybe the second guy should be you pew pewI would agree with you, but the second guy didn't say "I have the biggest penis"~
2 glasses of wine a day is clincally proven in women to increase the risk of a stroke. If you let her finish the bottle there's a fair chance of a blowjob^-^
Here's a particularly nasty one:I think I can beat that, this one is particularly nasty :D
Come on guys, I need more jokes, the sicker the better.M'kay
Sicker!I think I can top that~(click to show/hide)
So a maths teacher has taken his teenage pupil to France. I assume it is just a field trip to show her how many times 30 goes into 15.I'm sure you need time as a variable. Also, to what power does 30 go into 15?
Two iPhones walk into a bar. I forget the restI probably have to pay for that joke?
I sometimes go into a library and say to the woman at the counter that I'm looking for a self-help book entitled "How to deal with rejection without killing".....do you have it?O_O That's mean
What's the hottest part of a dead baby?I though you were gonna say something like "depends on what part you shove in the microwave first"(click to show/hide)
Now that's British humour!! MORE!!
I though you were gonna say something like "depends on what part you shove in the microwave first"
Hey, where has pows post gone? Now mine doesn't make sense.Meh, I'm forced to stick to some rules.. promoting hate isn't allowed :/
It's not promoting hate, its a joke. For a joke thread. If the sanctity of jokes cannot be held even here, then I refuse to post here again.Hey, where has pows post gone? Now mine doesn't make sense.Meh, I'm forced to stick to some rules.. promoting hate isn't allowed :/
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Not me, we just can't allow those words on any thread. Nothing about misinterpreting. Just preventing misinterpreting.It's not promoting hate, its a joke. For a joke thread. If the sanctity of jokes cannot be held even here, then I refuse to post here again.Hey, where has pows post gone? Now mine doesn't make sense.Meh, I'm forced to stick to some rules.. promoting hate isn't allowed :/
Not my problem that you misinterpreted it.
Oh well, I won't be participating in this thread any longer then. It's a silly rule. Have fun.Not me, we just can't allow those words on any thread. Nothing about misinterpreting. Just preventing misinterpreting.It's not promoting hate, its a joke. For a joke thread. If the sanctity of jokes cannot be held even here, then I refuse to post here again.Hey, where has pows post gone? Now mine doesn't make sense.Meh, I'm forced to stick to some rules.. promoting hate isn't allowed :/
Not my problem that you misinterpreted it.
Here's one for you pow.That one got a chuckle out of me, nice xD
I went to see a Muslim tribute band last night called 'Bomb Jovi'. They were brilliant, their last song 'Living on a Prayer Mat' almost brought the fucking house down.
I went to see a Muslim tribute band last night called 'Bomb Jovi'. They were brilliant, their last song 'Living on a Prayer Mat' almost brought the fucking house down.Lol
Now see, a joke is a joke. I'm 5'4" and I get garden gnome jokes, dwarf jokes, midget jokes, etc etc you name it I've heard it 3 times at least. I fail to see how a small cock joke is ok when people have small cocks, but a muslim/black/whatever joke isn't ok just because they are muslim/black/whatever. Isn't it the same? It's only a problem if you choose to make it so, hate is hate but for some reason some things such as racism get more attention than others because of peoples guilty consciousnesses, like in the US for example and their history. A joke about a small cock probably insults as many people as a muslim joke, but it's not in the public eye because people don't talk about small cocks but racism is a big thing.haha 5'4...im 5'5 get on my level
Seriously guys, give me your best atheist, white, dwarf, gnome, ugly, english, whatever jokes, it means nothing to me, I would never evertake offence at something meant as a joke, it's only an insult if aimed directly and with intent. Google Bernard Manning, he was the worst racist joker of all time, but he never meant a word of it.
It baffles me how people get upset about a muslim/black joke but laugh at a paedophile joke, who makes these rules? Peado's are scum, black/muslim people are equal of anybody.
F**k you you hater!! Hating on us small guys, we're the equal of anybody!!!
haha 5'4...im 5'5 get on my level
You're from Liverpool aren't you pow? On your birthday do people put money in your mams purse for you?That one tickled me :p
My girlfriend says that having a tiny penis is nothing to worry about.Hahahahah ;D
I still wish she didn't have one though.
Why is Santa's sack so big?Wow, that's ancient but still a christmas classic.
He only cums once a year.
Old but gold :PWhy is Santa's sack so big?Wow, that's ancient but still a christmas classic.
He only cums once a year.
When I went to school I was told:Well thechnically, both the head you learned at school and the one you learnt on the internet are parts of the body. :P
PUSSY meant a CAT
SEX meant GENDER
BITCH was a FEMALE DOG
DICK was a NAME
BANG was a SOUND
RUBBER was an ERASER
ASS was an ANIMAL
SCREW was just a TOOL
HEAD meant a part of BODY
BALLS meant a round TOY
NUTS meant DRYFRUIT
69 was just a NUMBER
And then I went online......
This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.I've read something about that :P awesome dude
He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."
Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available."