So I ruined my installation of Skryim somehow. Started anew, this time with a lot of mods.
Schlongs of Skyrim is an amazing mod. (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง
I'm an orc barbarian now. I'm gonna roleplay as the kind of guy
this song was written about.
Don't worry though, I'll be bored in a couple of days and I'll be back to read more of your suggestions.
EDIT: Okay so this is great. I had a random start mod which put me just outside a mine south of Winterhold. So I decided the best backstory for him would be being a miner turned adventurer.
URZOG HAD ENOUGH OF THE MUNDANE LIFE OF A MINER. AFTER NICKEL AND DIMING A SET OF ARMOR AND A WEAPON, URZOG SET OFF TO FIND THE GLORY AND RICHES HE ALWAYS LUSTED AFTER.
With an Iron Armor set and an Iron Greataxe in hand, I headed north to Winterhold. I had the basic needs mod and by the time I reached my destination, I was thirsty/hungry. I entered the inn seeing as it would be the best place to find something to eat and drink. Too fucking bad I had zero gold on me and I couldn't steal a thing since everyone was watching me. I decided it would be best if I snuck into the cellar and tried my luck there.
So I tip-toed my way down and lo and behold, it was a sweet roll on the table, I grabbed it and stuffed it down my face. Sadly it didn't do much for my hunger but fortunately I saw another sweet roll on the table across from where I stood. I ran towards it and took it without giving it second thought. Too bad there was somebody watching me. Too bad they had to die. I went down the cellar a hungry orc, came back up as a sweet roll thief/murderer.
Once I stepped outside into the cold tundra that is
The Pale, I checked over my inventory to make sure I had looted that cellar clean of food and drink. A guard passed by me whispering some shit about a dragon attacking Helgen. "I could totally kill this bitch and no one would notice", I thought to myself. I snuck up behind him and whacked him in the head with my axe. He died in one hit but little did I know a friend of his was watching us. Guy pulled out his longbow and started taking shots at me. I tried strafing but after getting hit a couple of times I realized my heavy armor wasn't cut out for this nimble, graceful shit. So I hit the inventory key and took off my armor. The encumbrance-free movement allowed me to dodge the arrows pretty well. My big flaccid orc cock majestically swayed side to side as I strafed to the left and right to dodge the incoming projectiles. Getting hit once would mean death, no doubt, thanks to SkyRe. Slowly but steadily I advanced upon him until he was in reach; axe meets head in the most brutal fashion. I regret not having a gore mod.
Thanks to my extremely discreet methods, I racked up 1,000g bounty. I looted the two dead guards and headed into a store, half expecting the shopkeeper to attack me on sight. There was no such aggression. She greeted me like she would greet any other customer who walked into her store. "Great", I thought "I should sell the stuff I looted just now and make my way the hell out of The Pale."
About 5 mins real time later, I was on the road to Dawnstar. Came across a few wolves here and there but nothing I couldn't handle. By this time, I was itching to see how I'd do in battle, so I made up my mind that would enter the first cave/dungeon I came across. Sightless Pit, it was called. The inside of the cave was caked with snow. I knew I'd be dead by now if I had installed the Frostfall mod. As I made my way further down, I was greeted by a bunch of dead bandits. Well, something's in this cave, I thought to myself as I delved deeper, a little bit more carefully than before. Just around the corner was a little Falmer bloke who was no match for my axe. At least I now know who put an end to those bandits. This was when I noticed I was thirsty. I remembered that I didn't drink a single drop of water since I started the character. I drank a bottle of wine.
"
You're still thirsty."
"Another one."
"
You're still thirsty."
"Damn, how many do I need to drink?! Another!"
"
You're no longer thirsty."
"Damn straight bruh."
My vision started to get blurry.
"
You are drunk."
"Pssht, I know that. I read the mod description."
What I didn't know was that you'd fall over every now and then when you're drunk. What I also didn't know was that dwemer "cliff" in front of me was several feet deep and I couldn't have had a worse place to fall over due to being inebriated than right in front of it. I fell face first to my death. Thanks to wine. GG. Quick load.
I'll do more later.
