So... post something that happened to you (or your friends) IRL or in the interwebs. I'll start
A friend of mine told a story of the day he fapped in the bathroom. Anyway, the last night, he screwed up in his sleep and woke up feeling a bit woozy for not sleeping much. He got out of his bed and decided to take a dump. He had a brilliant idea to fap while shitting and really did just that. Few seconds later, he fell asleep. He never woke up for an hour. When he did, there was something on the wall, he was still naked and the school bus was waiting outside.
I wonder what his excuse was.